Revisiting, revising, redoing.
For those of you who have seen the front of my website before, chances are you could tell that the photo above is a remake of another photo of mine.
I wanted to revisit the concept and redo the execution from where I am right now.
Both photos were taken in roughly the same way, using the same technique, years apart. The photo on the left is from May 2011, a couple of days before my cousin Molly's 20th birthday. The photo on the right is of me from mid-February 2014.
I did the remake entirely from memory, but since then, I've spent a long time comparing the two photos.
Something you should know about me is that I'm terrified of stagnation. Of wasting creative potential. Of not making, doing, improving.
I did one of those silly tests the other day where you clasp your hands together and whichever thumb, left or right, rests on top of your hands shows you whether you're a left-brain or a right-brain. The science behind the sily test -- let alone left-brain, right-brain dominance -- is nonexistent, but my "results" from the thumb test coincide with what I know to be true: I'm definitely more logical than creative.
This tends to surprise friends, especially given my artistic pursuits. I'm by no means as drastically analytical as my accountant father, and I certainly have at least a touch of creativity, but I do have to struggle for creative progress. I have to push myself for ideas. It's a workout, and it's hard. Sometimes I feel like I'm not moving forward. Sometimes I know for a fact that I'm not. And as much as I'd love to say otherwise, sometimes I get so scared and overwhelmed at the thought of stagnating that I just want to curl up, close my eyes, and go to sleep.
So, if nothing else, the juxtaposed portraits show concrete proof of progress. Of course, that progress may not be as significant as I would like, but it's progress.
And I'm happy with it.